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Funny Christmas Card Sayings

Christmas celebrations is a serious business, but you can add a bit of fun to the greetings we send each other. Here are some funny Christmas card sayings.
Shashank Nakate Dec 16, 2020
The Christmas season brings with it, an air of positivity and joy. New Year celebrations that follow shortly are literally the icing on the cake. The holiday season can be made even more joyous by sharing some funny and interesting quotes with your near and dear ones.
The bonds that hold together family members, relatives, and friends can be strengthened by expressing our feelings through such messages and sayings. The Christmas season is marked by an emotional outflow which is best captured through such quotes.
One of the important things about the Christmas season is the humor associated with it. Funny quotes and sayings which capture the funny side of Christmas are presented here. You may find some these quotes suitable for printing on Christmas cards, e-cards, and also for updating your 'status' on social networking sites. So, let the fun begin!

Funny Christmas Card Quotes and Sayings

The following ones are unique in a sense they highlight the best part of Christmas and tickle your funny bone by commenting on the human nature in general. The quotes listed here are some of the best Christmas card messages.
When your friends secretly enjoy within themselves -
"It breaks my heart ... But you gotta pay for partying without me. Merry Christmas!"
♦ Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. ― Johnny Carson

♦ I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying: 'Toys not included'. ― Bernard Manning

♦ Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. ― Kin Hubbard
♦ A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. ― Garrison Keillor

♦ I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. ― Shirley Temple Black 
♦ I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. ― Henny Youngman

♦ The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband. ― Joan Rivers

♦ No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday. ― Erma Bombeck
♦ Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer. ... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously? ― Bill Watterson
When you're celebrating Christmas in a hot country, and your friend is stuck in a cold place -
"Guess Santa and Rudolph got a way to receive all the warmth this Christmas. You have fun. Merry Christmas!"
♦ I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark. ― Dick Gregory

♦ Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live. ― Dennis Miller

♦ Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ. ― Bart Simpson
♦ What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. ― Phyllis Diller

♦ Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking? ― Arlo Guthrie

♦ You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger. ―Robert Paul
♦ Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell government what they want and their kids pay for it. ― Richard Lamm

♦ Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. ― Larry Wilde
♦ Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven. ― W. C. Fields

♦ Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year. ― Victor Borge
♦ Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money? ― Tom Armstrong
♦ Were it not for the shepherds, there would have been no reception. And were it not for a group of stargazers, there would have been no gifts. ― Max Lucado

Blessings to Write on Christmas Cards

Well, in between all the fun and frolic, we mustn't forget the fact that Christmas, after all, is a religious occasion, where we all gather together to celebrate the birth of our savior Jesus Christ. For the serious sorts, be it relatives or friends, here are a few blessings which can be used as Christmas greetings. 
♦ Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. ― Romans 5:1

♦ Count your blessings, count them one by one. Count your blessings, see what God has done! Merry Christmas!

♦ May your heart and home be filled with the true spirit of Christmas.
♦ And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified...
...But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord." ― Luke 2:8-11, New International Version (NIV) 

Sayings for Business Christmas Cards

Christmas is a good time to strengthen your relations with your clients. You might also think about making new contacts through business cards during Christmas, but that cannot be done through humor. When it comes to people we don't know that well, such as our clients, going for something simple and standard would be the safest way.
♦ Wishing you a joyous Christmas and a happy New Year.

♦ Season's greetings with best wishes for the New Year.

♦ May the Christmas blessings remain with you forever.

♦ Best wishes for Christmas and the coming year from our entire organization.
♦ All of us join in wishing you a wonderful Holiday Season and a happy New Year.

♦ This year Santa's starting a new incentive program ... Be Good or You are Dead Meat.

♦ All of us at (organization's name) wish you a joyous Christmas and a prosperous new year ahead.
The Christmas card sayings here will add fun and joy to the festival season and spread happiness. You can express your love for your family in the best possible way through such quotes.
The festival season of Christmas brings out the best in us. Thus, it is rightly said that Christmas is not just a season or festival; Christmas is a state of mind. So, when you begin with the Christmas party, always take a friend along, who can take you back home when the party ends. Merry Christmas!