Irish Toasts for St. Patrick's Day

♣ St. Patrick was a gentleman,
Who through strategy and stealth,
Drove all the snakes from Ireland.
Here's toasting to his health.
But not too many toastings
Lest you lose yourself and then
Forget the good St. Patrick
And see all those snakes again.

♣ He's a fool who give over the liquor,
It softens the skinflint at once,
It urges the slow coach on quicker,
Gives spirit and brains to the dunce.
The man who is dumb as a rule
Discovers a great deal to say,...

...While he who is bashful since Yule
Will talk in an amorous way.
It's drink that uplifts the poltroon
To give battle in France and in Spain,
Now here is an end of my turn-
And fill me that bumper again!

♣ May you work like you don't need the money
love like you've never been hurt
dance like no one is watching
screw like you're being filmed
and drink like a true Irishman.
Cheers!

♣ Here's to a long life and a merry one
a quick death and an easy one
a pretty girl and an honest one
a cold beer and another one!

♣ May the winds of fortune sail you,
May you sail a gentle sea.
May it always be the other guy
who says, "This drink's on me."

♣ May your glass be ever full.
May the roof over your head be always strong.
And may you be in heaven
half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.

♣ There are many good reasons for drinking,
One has just entered my head.
If a man doesn't drink when he's living,
How in the hell can he drink when he's dead?

♣ As you slide down the banister of life,
May the splinters never point in the wrong direction!

♣ Here's to the old lady up the hill.
If she won't drink it,
I will!

♣ Let's drink to California, way out by the sea,
Where a woman's ass, and a whiskey glass,
Made a horse's ass of me.

♣ Here's to you and here's to me
I pray that friends we'll always be,
But if by chance we disagree,
The heck with you and here's to me!

♣ Here's to us!
Who's like us?
Darned few, and they're all dead!

♣ Here's to you and yours
And to mine and ours.
And if mine and ours
Ever come across to you and yours,
I hope you and yours will do
As much for mine and ours
As mine and ours have done
For you and yours!

♣ Here's to your coffin!
May your coffin have six handles of finest silver!
May your coffin be carried by six fair young maids!
And may your coffin be made of finest wood
from a 100-year-old tree,
that I'll go plant tomorrow!

♣ Here's to the four hinges of society.
May you fight, steal, lie and drink.
When you fight, may you fight for your country.
When you steal, may you steal away from bad company.
When you lie, may you lie at the side of your sweetheart.
And when you drink, may you drink with me.

♣ Some may say the glass is half empty,
Some may say the glass is half full,
But the Irish will forever say,
"Are you gonna drink that?"

♣ When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven!

♣ May the grass grow long
on the road to hell for want of use.

♣ May the Lord keep you in His hand
and never close His fist too tight.

♣ Here's to me, and here's to you,
And here's to love and laughter.
I'll be true as long as you,
And not one moment after.

♣ May you live to be a hundred years,
with one extra year to repent.

♣ May your Guardian Angel be at your side to pick ya up off the floor
and hand ya another cold stout from the store.

♣ 'Twas an evening in November,
As I very well remember.
I was strolling down the street in drunken pride,
But my knees were all aflutter,
So I landed in the gutter,
And a pig came up a lay down by my side.
Yes, I lay there in the gutter
Thinking thoughts I could not utter,...

...When a colleen passing by did softly say,
"You can tell a man that boozes
By the company he chooses."
At that, the pig got up and walked away!

♣ Here's to those who wish us well,
as for the rest, they can go to Hell!

♣ Merry met, and merry part,
I drink to thee with all my heart.

♣ We are all of us in the gutter.
But some of us are looking at the stars.

You don't need to save these Irish toasts for St. Patrick's Day alone. Flaunt them at any party to raise the spirits, and make jolly.